Why Everything Happens for a Reason - Remembering my Brother

This week marks an anniversary for my family. Three years ago, my little brother, Daniel, died as the result of a head-on collision on his way home from work. He was in a truck with two others, and the vehicle they collided with held two more men. Both those men and Daniel died at the scene.

As I look forward to celebrating Easter this Sunday, and ponder on the resurrection of my Savior and what it means, I find myself looking back on one of the lessons I learned from my brother's death.




I didn't know how to react, on that day in April 2014, when I received the call that Daniel had been killed. It was my dad on the other end, telling me what happened, and, as he spoke, I struggled to process his words. "Wait, what? No way. That doesn't happen in my life, not this close."  It was surreal -  I heard the words, and they didn't fit. I hung up the phone, and didn't know what to do. Marianne held me, and waited.

And I cried. I cried because I knew that while he is still here, still living in that higher plane, we don't get him here. His smile, his laugh, his way of loving and giving to every person he met, are gone from the earth, and there is no one, no thing, that can replace him.

There is a phrase that is said at times like these, and I now believe it whole-heartedly, though many people misunderstand it.

Everything happens for a reason.

There is reason, there is purpose, and there is learning in every tragedy - even the accident that took my brothers life. There is reason behind everything that happens on this earth, especially those tragedies that are committed through our own mistakes or the mistakes of others. There IS inherent good in every situation.

Our Heavenly Father created us, each one of us, in His likeness. And, in His infinite love and wisdom, He gave each of us the gift of choice, the ability to choose what we do, and what we feel, every moment of every day. I believe that this was so we could choose to come here, to earth, to learn and grow in experience and wisdom, and trust in God to guide us back to Heaven.

The Reason behind tragedy is this: Each son and daughter of God uses this freedom of choice, every moment of every day, and some of those choices lead to tragedy. Some choose to ignore the promptings of God's Spirit, and their mistakes sometimes cost people their lives. Every such tragedy is rooted in a choice that someone made.

Why does God allow these tragedies to occur? If He loves us, why does he allow us, His children, to make mistakes that bring pain and death to ourselves and others?

It is because preventing us from making mistakes would mean taking away our divine gift of choice - even if our choices lead to pain. The day Daniel died, someone made a choice, made a mistake, and it cost my brother, and two others, their lives. That single choice, that simple mistake, changed the lives of countless others who loved and were supported by them. My thoughts go mostly now to my brothers only son, and to my parents, who feel the pain of his absence every day, and find it difficult to choose happiness in the face of such a loss.

God allows us to make mistakes, so that we can learn - from our own and those of others- and because He refuses to take away our freedom to choose. He knows that only when we have the ability to choose, to make our own mistakes, and experience the mistakes of others, are we able to grow, learn, and more powerfully choose to trust him. Adversity exists because He wants us to be happy, have peace, and trust in Him and Jesus Christ to give us the power to overcome.

How can we choose to be happy, if there is no opportunity to feel sadness? How can we choose into peace, if there is nothing trying to take it away? How can we choose to trust in God, if there is no temptation to do otherwise?

God does not create the tragedy in this world. He is not the source of adversity and trial. God allows the tragedy and adversity in this world to occur, because it allows us the opportunity to choose happiness and peace. Without the opportunity to choose, there is no growth, there is no progression.

And because of this, there is inherent good in every situation. EVERY situation.

Why?

Every situation in life, even a fatal car crash, contains inherent good, because YOU ARE PART OF IT! YOU are the good in every situation. As a child of a Father in Heaven, you are inherently good - Light and Life are your birthright, and they live inside every person. If you are looking for the good in a situation, look no further than yourself. YOU ARE the good, and you have the freedom to choose how it affects you.

And your happiness grows in proportion to the tragedy you choose to overcome.

I am grateful for this lesson. I choose to feel happy as I remember my brother this week. When I feel the sadness of his absence, I choose to be at peace, and trust in the the power of Jesus Christ, through his Atonement, to reunite us again.

Happy Easter, Daniel. I love you, Bro.