Day 25
Step 3 - trust
“Perhaps the greatest discovery of my life, without question the greatest commitment, came when finally I had the confidence in God that I would loan or yield my agency to him--without compulsion or pressure, without any duress, as a single individual alone, by myself, no counterfeiting, nothing expected other than the privilege. In a sense, speaking figuratively, to take one’s agency, that precious gift which the scriptures make plain is essential to life itself, and say, ‘I will do as you direct,’ is afterward to learn that in so doing you possess it all the more” - Boyd k Packer
As I have been listening to my mentors, I have been learning more and more about trusting the advice and teachings of others, especially those who have been where I want to go. My dance mentor said something profound, that really applies to all aspects of my life, and especially to repentance and recovery:
"Trust yourself to do what you are trying to do. Stop micromanaging and overthinking, and just do it. Trust yourself to know what you want, and then do it. The more free you are, the more ability you have to create - free yourself of the "have to" and the "proper way" of doing things and trust that you have always known, and then just do it."
I have always known how to repent. I have always known what God expects of me.
I have allowed myself to get caught up in the "proper way" to repent, the "have to" of attending church and meetings, and I was in bondage because I convinced myself that I was doing it wrong, because it didn't feel like what other people looked like.
I have the light of Christ inside of me, a gift from before I was born, and I am learning rah day how to better surrender my stubborn will to that light.
Because, truly, trusting ourselves is only trusting the divinity that we are and represent.
When it is said that all that we need is within us already, it is because we are divine, and inherently have access to all of Fathers resources.
I trust in God, and I trust in myself. I trust in His process, and by it and through it I am made purely me, with no foreign elements of pieces.
No comments:
Post a Comment